So I’ve been thinking. About a lot of things. Homeschooling. Parents. Parenting. Living. It’s only natural I would start a blog about dinner and then not cook all week, right? This may seem be a bit morbid, but it’s really not. I ran away and moved to Aspen a while back. It changed my life. It changed everything. If I died tomorrow, what would my funeral be like? How would my epitaph read? I remember that being one of the first questions asked at (as I remember) the first sermon I heard a good friend preach there, in Aspen. Who would come? Family, sure, but have I made an impact on anyone else’s life during my time here? Have I nurtured and pursued relationships with those outside of my bloodline? I’m not looking for responses, but these are good questions to ask ourselves every once in awhile; get a good read on our lives and what we’re doing, or not doing, with them. Will my husband remember me as a good wife? Will my daughter remember me as a mom who stopped everything to play with her, or was I too busy cleaning to be bothered? Would people know that I love Jesus by the life I left behind? Or that I was even a Christian? I wish I could find my original notes from Brent’s message. It really was fantastic. Just something to think about. The website is here if you’re interested.
Homeschooling. This world is getting so ugly, so fast. Five year olds want cell phones. Everybody (including me) has their phone attached to them like some kind of informational umbilical cord. God is being systematically removed from every single government institution. Kids see and hear trash more than they do praise and worship. Saying “God” or speaking His Word in schools will get you into more trouble than being amoral. Daughter will be starting school soon. The days are fast approaching. I’m pretty much opposed to public school. Period. But there are drawbacks to Christian schools and homeschooling too. So we should choose the ‘best’ choice right? What do we want daughter to hear and see and learn day in and day out? I want her to learn ‘stuff,’ of course, but I want her to know God more. Can’t do that at public school; kind of hard to learn about Him when you can’t even speak His name. I went to Christian and public school. I was one of the bad kids all the parents are afraid of at Christian schools. I had a horrible time in high school, but I have to ask myself this: had I been in public school when I went through my rough patch, would I have had the kind of friends who supported the crappy decisions I was making or the kind who stood against it and tried to get me help, like I did at my Christian school. Our daughter has grown up very sheltered so far (she sees kids 3-4 times a week, but they’re all church kids. yea! and I know there are ‘bad’ church kids too, relax, I was one of those too) and I’m totally fine with that because the Bible says:
Romans 16:19 Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.
I WANT that. Where does she stand more of chance of being innocent about what is evil? Public or private Christian school? Yes, there are bad seeds in Christian schools, I would never deny that because I was one. But using that as an argument is like throwing the baby out with the bath water. The Bible also says:
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Where does she stand the best chance of fostering and beginning a good, solid life foundation on the Word of God? Because once she turns school age, the majority of her time will be spent at whatever school we choose. No more spending the days with Mommy. She will be spending the days with her teachers and peers. Just something that’s been weighing on my mind lately. Heavily. People get really touchy and sensitive about this topic, but please don’t. There are pros and cons to all choices involved. But for me, the most important ‘pro’ is daughter being able to keep her innocence as long as possible; for her know and love God and express that love daily at school; for her to grow up to be a better woman than me, a better Christian; to give her the best opportunity to do the most important thing in life: live for Christ. Where can she do that best?
Yes, I turned out fine. My husband turned out fine. Lots of people turn out fine and that really is wonderful. But I know what I and my husband had to go through before we turned out fine and I do not wish for my daughter to have to go through those things. I don’t know. It’s a hard thing to think about. But the day is fast approaching when a decision will have to be made. I just pray we make the right one.
Psalm 25:4-5 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
I’m sure some people probably think I’m crazy. That it’s not that serious. But it is to me. I went through a lot to get where I am and it’s only because of God that I sit here now. Having her start out with a strong, loving, daily relationship with Him is my first priority in her life. I will not apologize for that. I don’t want her to ‘play’ Christian like I did for so many years. That’s a crappy way to live. I don’t even currently live like I hope my daughter to someday. Not even close. But I am a work in progress. God says so, so I’ll go with it. I choose not to let my past condemn me or determine my future or to allow people to beat me with it.
Going to public school doesn’t automatically mean a child will turn out ‘bad;’ going to Christian school doesn’t mean that a child will turn out ‘good.’ However, why not stack the deck in their favor? Why not try to put them with people we can be fairly sure are like-minded in the sense that we hope kids in Christian schools have parents teaching them Christian values? Is it easier for a child in their formative years to live out a Christian walk swimming with or against the pack? It’s kind of like this: Athletes foot won’t kill you, but it isn’t all that pleasant. You could help yourself out by wearing shower shoes at the YMCA, simple fix. Sure, it’s not an absolute truth that you will get athletes foot if you don’t wear the shoes, but there’s always that possibility. Likewise, there’s no guarantee that you won’t get it if you do where the shoes, but your chances of staying germ free are better. Public vs Christian school is kind of the same way for me.
On a lighter note, I might actually cook dinner tonight. Still deciding :p